What if everything works out?

Do you ever just stop and think, what if everything just works out?

I spend a lot of time forcing things, stressing, and pressing. I actually schedule time to actively relax. I bite my nails until they’re gone, then I bite my cuticles until they bleed. I say my eyes are fixed on God and the path he has laid for me, but are they really? If it’s His path, doesn’t that mean I don’t have to toil? But then I swear somewhere in the bible it says we have to take the steps and do the work, when actually I think it says to have faith and He will handle the rest. 

But then again it says He won’t give us more than we can handle, so I should keep handling things… but with faith.

All this to tell myself, the bowling balls aren’t for juggling, they’re for rolling; and they’re on the ground not above my head.

I had some hard hits this month, well this year actually. But with each one I’ve learned something and felt as though the next level unlocked. When I let go and let the cards fall where they may, it actually worked better than the wasted hours stressing for a forced fix.

Why do we deplete ourselves? Feel guilty for sitting down? I see a trend with Instagram women entrepreneurs saying, “you don’t have to be available all the time,” and “it’s okay if everything doesn’t get done” and those are great sentiments, but you will miss bookings if you don’t respond, and you will stay under your glass ceiling if you don’t take risks. 

So where is the balance? 

I am not a victim of my strive, I love it, I mean I create most of my work for myself. I think part of living a seasonal life also means there are seasons of work and seasons of rest. Seasons where I work until I crash, and seasons where I don’t leave the couch. Taking time everyday to celebrate the wins, talking out (mildly obsessing) the things that didn’t. But for me, reflecting helps the most. Writing out everything that is in my head removes its power, and I have said many times, removing power from external stress and fear by accepting it works for me.

What if everything works out?

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